The End

        This experiment ended with no fanfare but plenty of lessons learned and a definite connection. We never did go on the last date we intended to close our interaction with, it's still a floating IOU.  By the project's end, there wasn't a love connection.......well not the kind you guys were probably expecting. But there was a connection. Almost a year later, Isaac and I still talk on a regular basis. We even still intend to have that last date. We continue to follow each other on Twitter (where we met).  When tweeting our feelings, sometimes the other is the only one to get it and for that time, our souls connect.  We are similar in more ways than we are different but our paths, our love paths have not become one. We do have a special love for each other and I truly value the person I've become to know.

       True enough, this Boyfriend Experiment was about more than just Isaac. It was supposed to be about me concentrating on a different 'boyfriend' each month. I skipped March because I had a lot of travel planned and knew I wouldn't have the time to invest in the person for that month. Come April, I decided to downsize my life by getting rid of my house, moving back to Birmingham, AL from the outskirts (30 minutes from downtown), etc... That took a lot of time, that again would have lacked for a 'boyfriend'. Then there was May. In May, my role as Mother took front and center. I had to use a lot of elbow grease & focus to ensure that my middle son graduated. Having moved back to the city before school ended, I had to drive 30 minutes to their schools and 30 minutes back for work in the mornings then do it all over again in the afternoons to pick them up and bring them home. Definitely no time for a 'boyfriend'. By June, I'd given up on the idea of finding a suitable candidate to continue my project. Life just kinda moved out of that direction and some of that was a mysterious man from my past that became a renewed focus. To keep the anonymity going...... we'll only refer to the mystery man as "Him".

For the next stage of my life, follow my new blog: www.AccessorizingMy40s.BlogSpot.com

Help Wanted!!

I decided to blog about this experience because I wanted it to be interactive.  I've gotten several verbal comments of how people enjoy reading the blog and even people asking me when will I update it. However, I expected to receive more comments and questions along the way.  I envisioned even being somewhat guided by comments and suggestions.

I didn't expect this of just you, the Reader. I also expected it of Isaac.  I can't "make" you guys be interactive, but I can strongly encourage my boyfriend to give some feedback.  The entire blog is about MY feedback. Here's some feedback from HIM:

The month is almost done and I must say it has seemed to fly by. Not exactly sure if that is good or bad, it just is. I can definitely say that I have enjoyed the times we have spent together. Each of our dates has had plenty of laughs. Sha is a fun loving person, so that's to be expected. She is way more outgoing and assertive than I am. So, we are definitely not "two peas in a pod" which always makes for an interesting combination. I think it would take much longer than a month of pleasantries to really get to the essence of who "we" would be as a couple. We exist in very different worlds which makes it hard to mesh. She is very devoted to her life, friends, and family. Which is all good. Anyway, as far as Sha, I like her. She doesn't complain and nag. Though she is a fan of getting her way and thinks she is always right (a trait we share), it hasn't caused tension. She's always encouraging and supportive of me. That's a must for me because I am always out on a limb and need the occassional reassurance that I'm not crazy or alone. If we both knew that this was an attempt to make a relationship that could last longer than 30 days, I think it would be a little different but all in all, I can say that I have enjoyed the experience thus far and look forward to the last few days of sharing it with her.

Now Readers, do YOUR part. :) Ask questions, give comments, add suggestions for what to do or not do for next time.............INTERACT. Please also feel free to suggest future candidates.

I heart YOU!!

When you think of February, of course you think of Valentine’s Day.  I gave Isaac the option before we started this experience of whether we would celebrate this holiday.  Although we were to be boyfriend and girlfriend, it didn’t mean it was necessarily a MUST that we go all out.  In reality, we just met and we don’t have to succumb to the commercialism.  Him being the sweet person that he is…he left the decision up to me.  Not only did he give me the option of celebrating or not celebrating, he very generously extended the decision on HOW we celebrated.  As I thought about it, new couple or not, I felt it fitting that we utilize Vday as an excuse to spend time together.  Dinner would be simple and appropriate.  Now here’s where you’ll have to think back.  Remember the Super Bowl bet?  Remember who won and what they won?  Yeah!  So Mr. Jones decides to rub it in by suggesting that I cook for the holiday.  Somebody is very proud of their win.  Loser or not, I agreed it was a great opportunity to pay the bet off.  Trying not to poke my lip out too far, I came up with a menu in my head. 

Picture courtesy of a friend's Photoshop App on their iPhone.

The weekend passes without the fulfillment of the bet due to his concert date and my prior commitments.  Before we know it, it’s Valentine’s Day.  This year February 14^th was on a Monday.  Like most grown ups, once my work week starts, I’m kinda of locked into the routine of it all, with little room to spare.  Late evenings at work are also an obstacle for me.  In comes Isaac to the rescue.  He allows me to trade cooking for a restaurant to settle the bet.  J  Don’t you just love this dude?!?  He selects Surin West as the location.  However to circumvent the commercialism (and ridiculous wait times), we went to dinner on February 15th.  We were to meet at 6pm.  I ran a little late coming from the my office, but was able to take my time after getting a text message from Isaac saying he was running a little late also.  I arrive at the restaurant, select a quiet table and send a text message to Isaac giving the location of the table within the restaurant.  Upon his arrival, I look up to his smile.  He has a great smile.  Tasty food, fulfilling drinks, mild flirting and great conversation, it would be obvious to a fly on the wall that we enjoy each other.  The phrase "low key sexy".....yep, it still applies. That smile, the way he looks at me, how his mouth forms words......ANYWAY! Other patrons came and left over a time span of about 4 hours….we were still there.  As the place emptied and neared closing time, we finally decided to part ways.  Isaac walked me to my car and we ended our interaction with the closest of hugs.  When I made it home, I sent him a text message that ended with “muah”.  He playfully replied, “maybe one day I’ll actually get one of those”.  My response?  “I’m sure that you will.”

Sportsmanship and Week Two...

Week one of the project went very well!  I couldn’t have asked for a better person to share this experience with me.  Yeah enough of that, you want to know what we did in week two, right?  The plan was to see each other again Thursday, February 3^rd.  A schedule conflict here and some icy/snowy weather there made for a recipe of Isaac and I not seeing each at all during that week.  Don’t get it twisted, we talked everyday.  Communication is important in a relationship and we definitely do a lot of that.  During one conversation and considering the spirit of Super Bowl Weekend, we made a bet.  Neither of us had a favorite team in the Super Bowl, so I think our picks were rather random.  Isaac picked Green Bay as his team and I conceded to have Pittsburgh.  Black and Yellow!!  Black and Yellow!!  Black and Yellow!!  HaHaHa. Well by now you know how that bet turned out.  I lost!  Neither of us particularly enjoy cooking, so the loser was to cook for the winner.  L Someone, I’m not going to call anyone’s name [ISAAC] was NOT a good sportsman about their win.  Multiple text messages and mentions of how I lost!!!  That’s okay, Hamburger Helper anyone? 

A Second Date...Full of Faith

It's Saturday, January 29th. I fell asleep at 4:15am and woke up at 9am. Was it feelings of anxiousness or what? First thought when I actually sat up ------> Isaac. Oddly enough, I received a text from him soon after. Our second date was a gospel concert, he and his band, Battle Cats, would be performing. I actually saw a write up about it earlier in the week (http://mcpo.st/ed13up). His text was to let me know he had to be there for sound check at 3:30pm. Consideration, really? Without a lecture? I think I could get used to this. 

The first part of this nice Saturday is dedicated to my sons. I take them to get their hair cut, go tennis shoe shopping and out to eat. I did start listening to Isaac's alto ego, G. I. Magus. I really liked the intro and having listened to 4 tracks, I decided track 2 was my favorite so far. It quickly closes in on time for the concert to start. When I sent Isaac a text message to let him know I was on the way, he mentioned that his phone's battery was very low but he'd left his charger in his truck. Well being the great girlfriend that I am, I let him know I'd bring mine inside for him to use. When I arrived, his younger brother met me to get the charger. Sweet kid, he even promised not to let anything happen to my charger. 

A couple of performances in, it's time for the Battle Cats. I'm sat back pretty far, so I couldn't make Isaac out by sight but I did hear his voice. It was a song about frustration and patience. I can definitely identify with both. Isaac as the solo artist G.I. Magus is good, but his band Battle Cats is very talented as well. Not long after he got off stage, Isaac sent a text message asking where I was sitting. I left my seat to meet him. I congratulated him on a job well done and he led me back stage. He introduced me to a good friend of his that also came to support him. By the time Canton Jones came on stage, the three of us found a great spot to watch him. Again with the touching and sitting close, I think we actually look good together. 


As I tuned in to Canton, I began to realize what this concert was all about. A young man named Cameron was ill with 2 types of cancer. His grandmother and some local leaders organized the free concert to encourage donations for the family. Cameron was about to undergo surgery. People gave from their hearts into buckets. As if that wasn't inspiring enough, Canton had everyone repeat a prayer after him then had everyone who said the soul redeeming prayer for the first time to come on stage with him. The Holy Spirit was thick in the building and blessings were bestowed right in front of us. THIS was a powerful thing! Something I never expected to share with Isaac. My faith was renewed and my soul smiled. 


When the event was over I watched Isaac sell CDs, met some of his band mates and surprisingly met his mother and sister. O_o It was a bit awkward, but they were welcoming and seemed like nice people. Isaac walked me to my car. I was very appreciative of his invite to share in his talent and restore my commitment in my beliefs. It wasn't just a date, he shared God.

Date to the First Power

By midnight into January 28th, we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. We stayed on the phone until well after 12am. The conversation was flowing with comfort and a familiarity was created. All of this and we haven't even met yet!! The first date game plan: go to the Stardome Comedy Club for Sommore's 9:45pm performance. But first, pre-gaming: meet at his residence, not far from the location, to spend a little QT. 

Although I was given great directions, Isaac kindly gave some help by guiding me via telephone for the last leg of the distance to his house. When I pull up, he's standing outside of a nice garden home. He points for me to park across the street. As I enter, he awaits to close the door behind me. When I turn to lay eyes on my boyfriend for the first time, his arms are outstretched. I smile :) and give him a hug. What is my first impression of what I saw? Isaac looks different than the pictures I'd seen (and different from the picture I used in the first blog post), he was missing the beard. His slim frame is not the usual for me. Most of the guys I date are thicker and/or muscular. However, his height was spot on. I am ushered through the foyer into a living room with a nice quaint feel. Behind the couch is production equipment, an in-home studio. I guess that is where the magic happens for his music career. After more conversation and even some moments of being silly, I detect a bit of lowkey sexiness. The way he moves his full lips, the way he looks at me and not through me...yeah, what's up with that? 

By the time we make it to the Stardome we are touching, sitting close and calling each other babe. Anyone looking at us interact would have bet money we'd been together for months. Just another content, happy couple. We enjoyed the host comedian, the feature comedian and of course the headliner Sommore. We laughed, ate, drank and had a great time. At the end of the show, my new sweetie holds my purse while I go take a picture with Sommore.

Of course we reviewed the show on the way back to his place, a unanimous 2 thumbs up. Isaac gives me two of his CDs, one of which was his recent release Thermostat.  Once again we hit the midnight hour and I'm admittedly tired with a 40 minute drive ahead of me to get home. That fact didn't stop the laughs from us jonesing on one another, questions, answers, smiles, cracking on each other's music choice as we switch the radio stations and ramble through his CD selection, etc... to the tune of 3 1/2 more hours together sitting in his truck. As I pulled up into my garage, it was 4am and I found myself anticipating the next date. I like this and him already!

Getting to know you...

Although I picked my boyfriend for February earlier this month, we've had limited contact. On January 25th, while confirming our upcoming plans, we started to get to know each other. First via text and then the first phone call. His Obama-ish tone and uber vocab made me think more of a lecture than a casual conversation.  However, as the conversation progresses he seems to feel more comfortable and the inflection of his voice changes to more of an effortless prose. The discussion consisted of personal history, dating preferences, joking and flirting.  

January 27th, First Date Eve

With the awkwardness out of the way, this telephone rap session reveals more about Mr. Jones. His claims of having no "game" ...well it turns out that is his game. I could see right through it but the Einstein of it is that it probably works on quite a few women, trust me. A quiet, modest wrapper for a much more experienced and calculated persona. This is dating evil genius stuff!! Cute, but this will surely hinder the progress of the experiment. With only a month to focus on one another, we have to skip over some of the "representative" and get to the real person. We have to exchange the pleasantries for a more straight, no chaser approach. Just when I thought I had to come up with something creative to break through, it happens. HE'S A LIBRA. 

Wait, what? Isaac is a Libra? Really? Well guess who else is a Libra. Yep, you guessed it. ME!  My nigggggggggggga (in my best Training Day Denzel voice). Ohhhh now it's no holds barred!! I am in very familiar territory. No cutting through a hard outer shell to get to the soft gushy insides, I have your number mister. I am home and connected in this thang now!! The give and take of the getting to know you process just got interesting! I've had a Libra/Libra relationship before. It was one of the best and still comes up in conversations with my closest friends. If you want or need reciprocity from your mate, pick a Libra. We'll give you what you give us and two Libras together tend to be the most balanced givers. How do you let that go because the relationship is supposed to have an expiration date? How will I let go of that kind of connection to start over with a new boyfriend?